May 28, 2025 at 1:32 am

Lately, I’ve been struggling. Not because I don’t believe — but because I’m still learning. I’m still uncovering what it truly means to follow Jesus Christ and trust God with everything I have. I know what I know now only because of God. Jesus Christ saved me.

Yes, a human once told me I’d be His “Highest of Angels.” And yes — that feeds the ego. But this journey has never been about ego. I’m not chasing power. I’m speaking out because I had a miraculous experience, one that changed my soul. That’s why I’m here.

🕊️ A Seeker, Always

Contrary to how it may have seemed, I’ve always had a desire to talk with God — to know Him, to feel Him, to walk with Him. It wasn’t that I didn’t care. It’s that I hadn’t yet been shown by God or saved by Christ. I was on the fence — waiting, hoping, unsure how to cross over. But I was always reaching out.

Now, I am passionate. Now, I speak boldly. And that has to be a good thing… right?

❤️ Follow Your Heart, But Test the Spirits

People always say,

“Trust your heart.”
“God speaks through your inner voice.”
“He shows up in music, in signs, in strangers.”

And I’ve experienced that — strangers messaging me with words that felt divine, almost too direct to be coincidence. But today, I had to pause and ask myself:

Were these really messages from God… or was I falling into a false light?

I started to wonder: do some of these strangers know things about me they shouldn’t? Do they claim divine gifts that I don’t have? Is this holy insight — or spiritual manipulation?

🤐 The Silence of Fear

I stopped posting for a while. Not because I doubted God — but because I feared I was doing it wrong. I feared speaking too boldly. I feared being led astray.

But here’s the truth: God has let me make mistakes before. He’s let me wander and question. And still — Jesus Christ chose me. He saved me. If God knows everything, then I must be part of His plan. Not a robot. Not a puppet. But someone who loves Him and wants to walk in His truth.

😔 Facing the Jealousy in Me

I have to confess: I was jealous. I try to act above it — but it still happens. I wanted to be accepted, to be powerful, to be a part of something. But… I was already chosen. Shouldn’t that be enough?

Jesus loves me. I’ve been told that by Scripture, by believers, by the Spirit. I post about it all the time: God is love. He sees our struggles as sicknesses. He sees us as children.

🛡️ Guarding My Faith

A wise friend once said:

“Be careful speaking on what you don’t yet understand.”

They’re right. But I also need to be careful who I let silence me. Someone once told me I was “yapping too much.” They didn’t know me. And I had to ask:

What if that wasn’t correction… but temptation?
What if that wasn’t God’s voice… but the enemy’s?

Satan still has influence over this world. He mimics the light. He whispers doubt. He twists truth. And maybe — just maybe — it was the Devil trying to shut me up because I was saying too much that was true.

✝️ He Leads, I Follow

I’ve been too trusting. I admit that. But the one I need to trust — is God. Not strangers. Not voices. Not symbols without discernment. God is my Shepherd. He will lead me.

No, I shouldn’t preach like I’ve got it all figured out. But I can speak from experience. I can testify. I can be honest, even in the messy middle of it all.

So here I am. Speaking again. Not because I’m perfect. But because I know:

God is on my side.
Jesus Christ loves me.
And the truth is worth defending — even if it costs something.