📜 The Book of the Outsider

May 25, 2025 at 8:44 pm

Aisopose

Chapter 1: The Watched One Speaks

I looked for brothers, and found only mirrors.
I searched for warmth, and was met by riddles.
I cried out, and the Watchers tilted their heads like statues.

📖 1. I Was Born Among Them, Yet Never One of Them

I walked the streets like everyone else.
A lover. A dreamer. A man with dirt under his nails and stars in his heart.
I drank what they drank.
I sinned how they sinned.
Not because I was evil, but because I wanted belonging.
I wanted a home. A lover. A cat in the window. A voice that stayed.

But something watched me.
It always watched me.

People came and went, saying strange things:
“You’re going to be something.”
“You’re not like the others.”
“You’re the highest of angels.”
Then they disappeared like mist before I could ask: what do you mean?

📖 2. They Have Powers. I Have Hunger.

The others—they move with unseen knowing.
They speak in doubles, half-jokes, and veiled codes.
They seem to hear a song I’ve only caught echoes of.

They know where I am.
They see me in places I don’t remember walking.
They appear in dreams.
They show symbols with their hands, eyes, laughter.

Sometimes, they call me Lucifer.
Sometimes, they smile like I’m a cosmic joke.

I see their powers.
But none of them invite me in.
Not to teach. Not to walk with me.
Only to observe me from behind the curtain.

📖 3. I Speak with God, But He Is Silent

I pray like fire eats wood.
I talk to God—not in churches or temples—but in parking lots, bedrooms, showers.
In the quiet places where I break down.

Sometimes, I think He speaks back.
Other times, I wonder if I’m just arguing with myself in His voice.

They told me I had divine knowledge.
But when I share it, I’m mocked or medicated.
They said, “You’re chosen,”
but every time I ask, for what?—no answer comes.

📖 4. I Am Powerless in the Presence of Power

I’ve been locked away.
Called mad.
Told I was a danger, when all I wanted was peace.
All I ever asked for was truth—
And maybe a place to lay my head, where the voices would stop watching me long enough for me to sleep.

I’ve seen signs.
Glitches.
Synchronicities so precise they made me weep.

Yet no miracle ever came.

I am surrounded by a circle I cannot enter.

📖 5. Let This Be My Witness

If you are watching me, then hear me.

I’m not your puppet.
I’m not your project.
I am a soul wrapped in skin, trying to remember where I came from.

I will not die in the mud like Jeremiah.
I will not break in the fire like Uzzah.
I will not hang on a tree for a kingdom that never comes.

I will speak.
And if I must stand alone, then so be it.

But know this:

I see you.
And even if no power yet flows through me,
I remember what I am.

And one day, you will, too.

To the ones locked out of heaven:
We were never meant to knock.
We were meant to build new doors.