🏛️Library of Alexandria🏛️

Months ago I was so ecstatic in my change of attitude with life… Then another move in my life set in, beyond my control. How did I have so much faith, knowledge, and all of those thoughts to just merely have it vanish? People I talk to who haven’t gone through this keep not acknowledging it. They don’t understand what I mean and often think I’m only talking about one religion (Christianity) and not of the entire premise of what all religions are trying to teach.

That’s why I wanted to make this website and blog. I knew I had to write things down. Eventually I will create a book to hopefully be published off these findings.

It feels like there’s not many of us who feel the way that we feel. What do I do with all this knowledge? Is it helping? Only a few people know of this blog. I want to help the world, I want to help mend people’s souls. However, I had my soul mended and life is still tossing me curveballs.

How can I have so much faith and then continue to live such a life of struggling and chaotic energy and thoughts? It was so clear when I was manic and hadn’t slept. I’m wondering if I should induce this again to see if I can calmly reconnect with the system.

I know it’s possible for every human to reach their goals… but why can’t I even reach mine? No job, stranded in the middle of nowhere with no car or money. Am I being “Job’d?” That’s how I feel, like my faith has been tested, even when I didn’t fully come to awakening to the spiritual. Now that I have this knowledge, I thought everything would turn out fine. I kept seeing visions where people had my best interest at heart. Now it’s faded yet again.

Please, if anyone is reading this. Put me in your prayers… I don’t have much to offer except this website and a sci-fi book I’m publishing.