🏛️Library of Alexandria🏛️

October 20, 2024 at 2:04 pm

The cycles of most religions must come full circle. Christianity tries to teach us the cycles and what will happen during each year. The Bible is not merely a book to guide the present from words of the past, it’s a gift to describe God and how He operates, so we can better understand Him. He WANTS to get to know us, but the physical realm is not something He understands without us. He tries to weave the Threads of Fate so we can always be successful and fruitful. Sometimes we don’t take those opportunities.

I personally believe the month of August, every year, is for those who have come to God to get to know him. Thus, Revelations being the REVEALING of God during this month.

During this month, I experienced things I never thought I would believe. Of course, I’m the slightly paranoid type that believes that this was all parlor tricks, but I know in my heart even if it was… it still had the same effect.

I saw a friend who was supposed to be in the mental hospital driving her car around the block while I was out for a walk. I saw the YouTuber “Skeeter Jean” driving around, because I hate pedophiles and the one accusation that I used to fear was disrespecting women and girls. For example, there was a lesbian woman I knew. She had a ton of the same interests as me personally. (Zelda, Steven Universe, passion for collecting rocks and gems, etc.) Since she was a lesbian and I respect that, I’ve never tried to hit on her. She misperceived me one time trying to explain to her that I care about her because at the time, she was a good fit for my friend she was dating. After a few months on Facebook just being friends, I sent her a message saying that her relationship was wholesome and I was envious that they had such a good relationship.

She turned it into herself the complete opposite way, accusing me of hitting on her and proclaiming “I don’t like men.” — Yes, I know, that’s why I never propositioned her. But it didn’t matter, it was stuck in her head that for some strange reason, she thought a guy who is bi and respects boundaries of other people, would still have intentions on flirting with her. That was not the case, but I can understand her perspective. My point of this story is that I found the conversation so upsetting to MYSELF it caused anxiety and panic. I was accused of doing something I did not do. In fact, my biggest worries are of others perception of me. Not because of ego, vanity, or narcissism, but out of a mutual respect that I want to treat others how I WANTED TO BE TREATED, and vise versa. I didn’t believe I broke that boundary or crossed that line, but the false accusation was pain to me, because it was a lie. The lie was that I had feelings other than platonic ones for this friend at the time. She cut ties with me, and that just made it worse.

So far, I saw a friend driving her car when she was in the hospital… and a guy who doesn’t know me from a hole in the wall driving around his Lyft car reminding me of the SCUM of the Earth who prey upon the weak.

I went home and realized, if I’m not like this… why am I always stressed? I shouldn’t let false accusations get to me so much, so I just let it go. Then God, during the month of August, just sort of appeared in my spirit. I received the Holy Spirit and found Jesus. It was all revealed to me when I let FALSE accusations go, and embraced my true self. What did it MATTER if someone perceived me as this? I felt bad that they thought I was doing it, sure… But I shouldn’t have felt bad about things that did not actually happen, and I should have just apologized immediately instead of arguing back and overexplaining. They saw the overexplaining and viewed it as “backtracking” even though I was clarifying what I meant in the message.

Now the world is backwards. I’m no longer afraid of false expectations because I know God is with me and witnesses everything. The key to existing on Earth is to relax and not take situations to another level of engagement. You need to find ways to disengage conversation while appealing to the other person’s mind; not try to convince them of things that didn’t happen when they perceive their reality as it happening.

I always find this sad, because when they don’t believe my explanation they think I’m lying when I’m not. I’ve also had a hard time in the past apologizing for things that I’ve never done, not realizing that it doesn’t matter if I’ve done them or not, it matters of the other person’s perspective that I did. Any explanation can come later.

During August, a lot of weird revelations happened to me. The miracles took place, and I was walking down the road hearing the radio speak to me like a schizophrenic. Particular signs and numbers would stick out and I’d be immediately drawn to them, and it was like God was speaking to me directly. This occurred very gradually over the month. I’m unsure if these events happen every year yet, or if it’s a type of revealing process once you shed the guilt and the false narratives you’ve harbored from other people into your spirit.

I had a very good friend from my childhood that cut ties with me over the years, that I realized wasn’t as great of a friend as she purported to be. Other mutual friends would tell me they would speak ill or awful of me over the years. I couldn’t believe it, as I’ve never speak ill of them at all. They were, in secret, telling all our mutual friends that I was a terrible person, that they shouldn’t date me, and that I was some sort of person who goes around “flirting” with everyone.

I don’t understand where this came from, because I had never flirted with anyone. It’s just simply something I didn’t do back then. I also only flirt with friends that I’ve known for a long period of time because I never used to be comfortable in crowds or settings. I believe this perceived “flirtation” was just me trying to get to know a person who seemed safe. That’s the same with the lesbian woman that I talked to who she claimed that I was flirting with her. No, it’s not flirting. It’s just genuinely trying to be a good person and I wanted to boost her self-esteem and make sure she knew that I approved, not that my approval matters.

I just know that people would do the same when my ex and I were in a relationship, so I mimicked the behavior. People would come up to me and my girlfriend at the time and say, “You’re such a nice couple! Wish I had that, rooting for you!” — So I thought the same behavior was acceptable.

During this time in my life, I had gender dysmorphia (and still kind of do) where I thought I was a failure as a man and wanted to transition to be a woman. I no longer think this and I am grateful for the body I am already in. I was deluded in thinking people’s PERCEPTION of me was doing to make those perceptions into reality. I was perceived as “hostile” as a man, so that means I had to be a woman. Nah, it just meant that I had to actually embrace being myself and have the courage enough to tell someone to “F**k off” or tell someone that something wasn’t true, and just stick with it.

Instead, I was always trying to appease the other person and make them feel at ease, so I would overexplain. Apparently neurotypical people call this “backtracking” — Which I still don’t fully understand. It’s an explanation to explain the past, of course it’s “backtracking” that doesn’t mean it’s not valid.

My main trouble in life has always been understanding other people and why they react the way they do to me. I don’t feel like anyone of importance, or I didn’t back then. Now I just serve God, and try to spread life’s mysteries by blogging about it here.

The rest of August got progressively “worse” in a sense. My life didn’t get worse, but the effects were ramped up through the whole month into the first week of September.

Everywhere I looked, it seemed like people were trying to give me hints and signals, and I didn’t quite understand it. People would walk back and their fingers would be interlaced, and they’d look at me and nod as if they were telling me something.

What was going on I realized, was the Olympic Games were occurring…

I’ll blog about that separately, but during this time of awakening the events of Revelations was playing out. I saw shooting stars, there was an aurora in the sky, and there was an earthquake during one of the mornings that I actually felt while half-asleep. (I thought someone was moving furniture or shaking my bed, nah, it was just the Earth rumbling a bit.)

Then I realized… I’ve had this conversation before. It seems like every year there’s a minor earthquake in New England. It seems like every year, there’s talk of meteor showers or phenomenal things. Is this just the Book of Revelations happening each year, over and over again, and now only I can see it because I’m awake?

People in town were talking as if the world was ending. This one woman from the bar said things like, “Well I’ve lead a good life, I wish I didn’t waste it though” — and other odd things were occurring. It was like people knew they were being judged during this time period and were worried. There were old men offering seats left and right to other people at the bars. People were insanely nice to me and giving. Everywhere I went I had a positive attitude and God-like presence within me, and people seemed to ask me advice, wanted to talk to me, or had expectations of me that I didn’t even know people thought of me.

I believe that the Bible is not just a mere book of accounts in the past… But it’s an INSTRUCTION MANUAL on the cycles of the year, stories of Christ so you can emulate him and learn the cycles and basics of life.

Don’t kill, don’t steal, be good to your neighbors, etc.

However, when September was ending, it seemed like all of this started to fade. Where once I had this perfect clarity of God, now all I had were remnants.

It’s hard to tell what is real or not anymore, because whatever was going on, I felt like the moon changed positions in the sky briefly, which flipped the Earth upside down.

I believe a sort of “Judging” process happens around this time. I’ve even associated Greek legend to go along with the cycles. I’ll comment more on that later.